The power of patriarchal language
Today I want to talk about the power of language and how incredibly ingrained it is within the patriarchal structures in which we live.
Let’s talk about the microaggressions that are present within the male gaze and the discomfort that simple ‘harmless’ comments can have. The whole motivation behind this blog post arose after I was having a conversation with a friend of mine when her male colleague, who might I add was her junior in a new work environment sent her an email with the greeting, “Hello Sunshine”. Here’s the thing; the intention of this comment was not malicious, therefore was it something to just wear and move on? The issue here is that it is completely undermining the level of hierarchy within an organization, a hierarchy that is statistically harder for my female friend to climb than her male counterparts. Would he have greeted his new boss with the same casualness if they were a man? I think we can make a pretty safe assumption, no.
Now The Georgie Collective is not about lecturing, but rather about learning and using real-life examples as a point of discussion. The ‘Sunshine’ comment is all too relatable, but it’s time to call out these microaggressions and the power that they can have on authority and building appropriate and authentic relationships.
A similar experience comes to mind when I was doing a presentation to a company that I used to work for when I got a private message from my senior saying, “That colour looks so good on you.” Now, I write this wondering if there will be people who may not see this as an issue. He offered you a compliment, what’s wrong with that? There are boundaries, environments and levels of trust that are required to have these conversations. We were in a professional setting in which I was nervously simply trying to exist and present my work. I am here and ready for feedback on my presentation, not if the goddamn colour of my shirt looks good on me, because you know what, believe it or not, I don’t get dressed every day for your approval buddy old pal.
The fact is in this instance there was a significant power imbalance. Is it too much to ask that I turn up to work, do my job, and my appearance doesn’t get mentioned… at all? I am not in a professional setting where my appearance explicitly informs any decisions, working opportunities, or has anything to do with my capabilities; for example, being a model hired for a specific brief, or a sex worker hired for a specific kink - both of these experiences I can’t talk to as I have no experience within these situations or industries and will leave this up to the experts.
The thing is… we live in a world where systems and structures still have weight and value behind them. Let’s face it; we’re living the everyday hustle of capitalism, and beating to your own drum is smothered by these ideas, making it even more important to call out these experiences.
In the first example, the junior felt comfortable greeting his boss in one of their first encounters with ‘Sunshine’, because, consciously or subconsciously, he had the confidence or superiority to do so. In the second example, there was a clear power imbalance, and an imbalance that was both structurally present in the working environment (inclusive of pay) as well as the power imbalance present in the age difference of the employees.
I’m pretty sure that I don’t have a heavy male readership, and for those who do land here I’m hopeful that they are curious about equality and building a better future for everyone, but I am aware that this blog may challenge the male ego of “oh we just can’t win!”. But hey mate, bro, dude you can… just educate yourself, listen to womxn and their experience, and if you’re in a professional environment view womxn in the same way that you view your male counterparts. Equality bro.